Long, long time ago. At film set not so far away. Lived Evil Overlord... And no single Hero. The End 51. I will hire a team of board-certified architects and surveyors to examine my castle and inform me of any secret passages and abandoned tunnels that I might not know about.
52. If the beautiful princess that I capture says "I’ll never marry you! Never, do you hear me, NEVER!!!", I will say "Oh well" and kill her.
53. I will not strike a bargain with a demonic being then attempt to double-cross it simply because I feel like being contrary. 54. The deformed mutants and odd-ball psychotics will have their place in my Legion of Terror. However before I send them out on important covert missions that require tact and subtlety, I will first see if there is anyone else equally qualified who would attract less attention.
The fight with stupid film scripts conitnues... 26. I will never build only one of anything important. All important systems will have redundant control panels and power supplies. For the same reason I will always carry at least two fully loaded weapons at all times.
27. My pet monster will be kept in a secure cage from which it cannot escape and into which I could not accidentally stumble.
28. I will dress in bright and cheery colors, and so throw my enemies into confusion.
29. All bumbling conjurers, clumsy squires, no-talent bards, and cowardly thieves in the land will be preemptively put to death. My foes will surely give up and abandon their quest if they have no source of comic relief.
She was Soooooooo Blonde ... * She thought General Motors was in the army.
* She thought Boyz II Men was a day care center.
* At the bottom of an application where it says "Sign here:" she wrote
"Sagittarius."
She Was Soooooooooooooo Blonde...
* She took the ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
* She sent a fax with a stamp on it
She was Sooooooooooooooooo Blonde...
* She tripped over a cordless phone.
* She spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice can because it said
"Concentrate."
* She told me to meet her at the corner of "WALK" and "DON’T WALK."
She was Soooooooooooooooooooo Blonde...
* She studied for a blood test.
* When she missed bus #44 she took bus #22 twice instead.
* When she went to the airport and saw a sign that said, "Airport Left," she turned around and went home.
She Was Sooooooooooooooooooooo Blonde...
* When she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.
* She thought if she spoke her mind, she’d be speechless.
* She thought that she could not use her AM radio in the evening.
* She had a shirt that said "TGIF," which she thought stood for "This Goes In Front."
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